Reader question: Doing it all / Create / Enjoy

Reader question: Doing it all

1.30.2015

How do you do it all?

Recently, I got the sweetest email from a blog reader. Not only does Kristin sound like a fun person, she is so kind to look through and appreciate my various blog posts, home tour, and more.

Hi Suzannah!
My name is Kristin, and I adore your blog. I am 26 and live in Austin, Texas, with my husband. I sew a little, crochet some more, but also eat Paleo and enjoy your food, DIY, and home decor posts very much.

I wanted to write and request a blog post.... How on earth do you get everything done?! Are you ever tired or feel overworked? You have a beautiful blog, with tons of gorgeous photos of a neat, chic home, and everything seems tasteful and orderly, and you're working on a book, in addition to what seems like a full-time job? You are an inspiration! I just don't know how you do it all! I would love to read about how you schedule your projects, what your recommendations are for getting All The Things Done and so beautifully!

Thank you very much for your incredible blog!

I was so touched by Kristin's email. Hard to know where to start answering her question, actually. As I told her in my quick reply, yes, I do work hard on having a blog, job, house, life, etc. but I don't always feel like I succeed--so compliments like hers are all the more meaningful.

However, I don't necessarily recommend anyone "try it at home," because there is a cost to trying to do it all and I often wish I were doing less. I also told her, I appreciate her request, but I'm more likely to write a post about balancing life goals than about how to fit everything in!

Well, I guess, here's how

I did answer her question, though. Not because I think anyone else should do everything I do! But, the honest answer to the direct questions, I think. Well, Kristin...

Yes, I am often tired and feel overworked!! But, I find I feel that way most when I spend time on things I'm not passionate about or resent. I usually feel pretty good when I do the things I love.
I've been blogging for more than 5 years now--it's gotten much easier. That really helps with the regularity. I don't really schedule my projects out, I just share what I've made recently, although I do keep an editorial Google calendar so I remember when I'm posting what.
My book is almost to the printing stage now, and I wrote most of it more than a year ago. During most of the writing process I worked a less stressful job and had more energy at home!
I've been battling my to-do list for years, so now I generally just ignore it and do what I feel like doing most of the time. Sometimes I put things off a long time, although I have always felt comforted by structure so I usually do well sticking to my blog post routine as well as my pretty standard weekday evening routine.
I find that I can really only do ONE extra thing after work each weekday, especially on days when I work out. It takes me 1-2 hours to do the cooking and lunch-packing for the next day so afterwards I don't always feel like sitting down again to do tons of emails, etc. But, one extra thing is usually manageable. That might be a blogging thing, or it might be simply watching a few old 30 Rock episodes and foam roller time. That would be a successful evening for me! (Several nights/week my husband is at class or work so I'm home alone.) My daily schedule? On weekdays, usually something like:

6:00 AM: up
7:00 AM - 4:30 PM: on the clock at work, eat meals at my desk while working (sit/stand work station)
5:15ish PM: either work out in our garage gym and/or chop veggies, start dinner, etc.
6:00ish PM: either shower and/or keep cooking
6:30 or 7:00 PM: usually can have food ready by this point (sometimes husband is home, sometimes not)
8:00ish PM: clean up from dinner, face the emails or watch Netflix and drink tea
9:30 PM: goal for reading in bed, then sleep

I'd love to be able to say I do the bare minimum each day, because I believe life balance and keeping stress levels down are so important. I still sometimes get affected by the to-dos I keep moving forward on my calendar, but I've also learned to take deep breaths through the stress and forgive myself because I know I'm doing the best that I can. I've always been the kind of person likely to get over-committed (I think I learned it from my mom, who's always been on 4 or 5 committees at a time, I swear...), so my goals for the future are prioritizing and learning to step back from less important responsibilities.

The real answer!

So, what I really feel is, I just can't offer recommendations on how to pack your schedule and free time and make your life busy but seeming productive.

So really, rather than explaining how I do everything I do, I'd rather say:

I don't do it all, and
I no longer believe that "doing it all" is a healthy goal.

First, I don't do it all! I miss all kinds of things. I leave emails in my inbox for several days before reading them, sometimes. I meant to post this post yesterday. The other night I was up till bedtime cooking. Stuff happens.

Second, I think it's all about goals. A while back I read this article about "success," by Zosia Mamet in my Glamour. It was a pretty short, not too in-depth article, but it brought up a great point through this Merriam-Webster definition of "success": "the correct or desired result of an attempt." So, what do I want to be attempting to do? I've realized recently that my goals are for a happy, low-stress life that lets me grow in the activities I find fun or interesting. Blogging, working, working out, cooking, occasionally decorating, very occasionally shopping or making new clothes, petting the cat, traveling, and more (not in any particular order!)--those are the things I want to fit in to a happy, relaxed life. Not necessarily developing new recipes every day or Instagramming everything I do. I don't think I would be happier if I could "do it all"!

This is what I want my time to look like

A while back my friend Aubrie took these photos of me relaxing at home with the cat. These capture my favorite thing to do on weekend mornings, and sometimes afternoons!--we keep weekends pretty unscheduled. I love to read and drink my coffee slowly, and the cat usually joins in. Hence the cat hair all over my pants--impossible to avoid.