parenting

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5.11.2022

My 1-year-old's favorite books

Been a little quiet on this blog the past week or two and I'm giving myself a pass on One Room Challenges every week... still planning to finish the bathroom on time but not much has been happening lately! But I've been wanting to write this fun post for a while so here it is.

Lucy's room after we added these shelves

Best books for 1-year-olds

Lucy didn't get as many baby books read to her as Otto did, but when she was 14-18 months or so I noticed she really had some strong preferences for some of our classic baby/toddler books. (Some of these I mentioned in my baby shower/new baby gift post!)

Some of these are the Montessori-recommended kind: realistic/not too cartoon-ey pictures of real people and babies, relatable, concepts they can easily understand. But some are just silly, with animals wearing clothes or cutesy faces on the cartoon babies. Some are very repetitive. Some are so short!! We read most of these multiple times every time. (Baby sign language for "more"!) Otto loved a lot of these, too.

The Very Busy Spider
"Baby Love" set (All Fall Down; Clap Hands; Say Goodnight; Tickle, Tickle)
Blue Hat, Green Hat
Moo, Baa, La La La
Everywhere Babies
Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes
First 100 Words (actually, Otto loved that one so much we got this box set of these first words books)
Where is Baby's Belly Button?

I got sentimental just writing this list. It is so special to see such a little person, even before she can talk much, clearly having preferences and favorites. The Very Busy Spider has to be her #1. She gets it down from the shelf so often! We have two copies, one in Otto's room and one in hers. Sometimes she reads it by herself. So special to see a love of reading and learning in such a little person.

Hope you've enjoyed reading this! Happy book time. :)

2.24.2022

Best new baby gifts/baby shower gifts

I have a couple of new babies to celebrate this spring and I just love picking out gifts! I shop from baby registries when I have them but sometimes you need a supplemental gift or an extra personal touch. Sharing some ideas I love for useful and thoughtful new baby gifts or baby shower gifts for today's babies!

Forgive the state of that Jellycat bunny--he is actually Otto's from when he was a baby almost 4 years ago!

Best new baby gifts

1. Great newborn toys. These two (NogginRings and Rainbow Glow Rattle) are some Jason learned about at his pediatric physical therapy rotation during PT school and we got for Lucy. They are awesome! More fun for newborns than the toys we had for Otto. You can tell the new mom they're PT-recommended. ;)

2. A beautiful baby blanket. I am in love with these Indian block print quilted blankets from Etsy. We have the turquoise one in Lucy's room and it is so cute and special and different than the mass-produced stuff you find at the big stores! I would seriously buy every color if I could find a use for them. In fact I might buy another one right, now, I see they're on sale... seriously though, for someone whose taste you understand enough of, I highly recommend these as a great soft, comfy, cheerful blanket for stroller walks, snuggling while nursing, etc. (and pretending it's the ocean if you're my 3-year-old).

3. A really nice stuffed animal. We've received several Jellycat stuffed animals as gifts and they are so nice. They're not cheap so you really think about which animal and find a special one for each kid! I think this is an especially great gift for a second or third baby since I know in our family, Otto inherited all the stuffed animals when he was a baby. He has mine, Jason's, Jason's brother's, etc. old ones, plus all the ones family members bought for him. Lucy hardly has any! We got her a big Jellycat bunny for her first birthday she sleeps with now. But I think this is a great newborn gift too since they're so pretty, soft, and cute as nursery decor even before the babies can snuggle them, and you almost always remember who gave you which stuffed animals.

4. Swaddles (with zippers!) plus flannel receiving blankets, and a link to this video. Put this on the list of things I didn't know as a brand new mom: how to really swaddle. If your new mom gift recipient didn't have zipper swaddles and flannel blankets on her registry, and if you know how useful these can be, throw these in plus that helpful tip about how to use them together. Such a useful hack!!

5. Sweet books. These three are my favorites for new baby, first birthday, etc. book gifts. They're all Montessori-style: realistic, attractive pictures or photos of real babies and things. Everywhere Babies has so many interesting things to look at on each page, and the 100 First Words is just an essential, Otto still loves it, ha!

Hope this is fun and helpful! New moms always appreciate a little gift (along with some takeout!) those first few weeks/months when you come to visit the new baby, and as wonderful as registries are, sometimes it's nice to stray from the list just a bit and bring in a fun surprise. (I should also add I love Babylist for registries. I've used it for both of mine (see this post about how it works).) Enjoy!

2.14.2022

Controversial parenting choices: TV time

This is the final post in my series about parenting decisions/opinions that can be controversial/people do very different ways. Some people feel very strongly about this one! In this series and today in this post I'm sharing my experience, no judgment, of how we deal with this topic. (See the whole list below.)

Hoo boy, TV time, here goes!

TV time

I’m not sure where we fall on this exactly… We definitely allow Otto to watch TV, but not every day and only on the big TV, not on our phones or small screens except in emergencies (after reading about that--I can't find the article, but there was some research about how big TVs are better than tablets/phones for several reasons). We also pretty much only show him Daniel Tiger! He seen a couple other things (like we just watched Rudolph and Charlie Brown Christmas this year), and I tried showing the kids a Sesame Street episode the other day and I thought it was charming, but Otto basically just wants to watch Daniel. Which is fine, we started watching it with him because we like it and it has great messages and learning about emotions and cute songs and it’s not obnoxious.

I do worry he’s a bit sheltered though! He’s also not in preschool yet, partially due to COVID, partially due to all the things I explain in the daycare vs. nanny post, so I am a little worried that he’ll show up at kindergarten in a couple years and be the kid doesn’t know about pop culture. I guess we have some time before then though. With Jason working in the evenings four nights a week, Daniel Tiger can be very very helpful for me trying to get dinner made or whatever, but we try to use it in a limited way. I try to do other things with them in that difficult 4-6 PM time like take a walk, have them take a bath, go pick up a Target order... :P

Lately the kids have been great without TV time so I really try to save it for situations where I'm just so fried and need a few minutes to get something important done. Lucy doesn't care as much about the TV as Otto so it doesn't always keep her occupied anyway, and Otto is really good at playing with his sticker book, wipe clean workbook, or with other toys by himself that if it's just him and he gets into a groove, I don't even need it half the time. Sometimes he asks for Daniel, and I say yes/later or not today depending on what we have going on.

There are some good articles here: What You Need to Know About Screen Time for Kids | The Everymom, How Screen Time Has Made Me a Better Mom | The Everymom, and Experts Weigh In: How Much Screen Time Is Too Much? | The Everymom. One point from that last one is, "Make screen time something enjoyed in a shared family space, like the living room, and turn off the TV when it isn’t being actively watched." That's one of the reasons we do that instead of tablets/phones. Otto likes when I sit on the couch and watch with him, and it makes sense! It's nice when we can talk together about what happened on the show.

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

Hope you've enjoyed this series!

2.11.2022

Controversial parenting decisions: Transitioning from the crib

This is one of the final posts in my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or done many different ways. For those who are interested, I'm sharing my experience, no judgment, of what we did! (See the whole list below.)

Transitioning from the crib

I think we're on the slow end of when to transition the crib to a toddler bed, and when to transition from a toddler bed to a twin. Otto was such a great sleeper after we sleep trained (see this post from this series!) and cut out the night feeds that we just didn’t want to mess anything up so we kept him in his crib for a long time. He also never, never, never tried to climb out. He slept in a sleep sack until very recently so his legs were never that free to move around, but he just also isn’t a super adventurous/physical/climber type of kid. I don’t think will have the same experience with Lucy, she is more likely to try to climb out!

There is a height limit on when you're supposed to transition out of the crib (34.5"-36" depending where you look). I'm not sure how tall Otto was when we took the side off his, but since he never tried to climb out we mostly just did it when we were tired of lifting him in and out! It was right around his third birthday, compared to others' experiences I've heard is pretty late, and unfortunately almost overlapped with a time when he started to have a bit of a sleep regression/some sleep problems. Not long after turning 3 he started fighting us more at that time, and there was a brief while there when he would get up in the middle of the night and come into our room (one time he did it seven times--that was a rough night), and even wake up early from his nap sometimes wailing. Screaming or crying for no reason, couldn’t be calmed down easily, it was like he was still asleep almost. We solved that by cutting his starting his nap later so it was shorter.

Anyway, in hindsight I wish we had transitioned him to a toddler bed a little bit earlier that he could've gotten used to it before starting three year old sleep problems. When we did transition we gave him some bumpers under the sheets so he didn’t fall out, and he did actually fall out the one night we didn’t have them. Lucy's crib has an optional toddler rail we can purchase so I think we will probably do that for her. Otto's (see below) is great because we can all three sit in the crib with the side down while I’m reading a book to Otto and feeding Lucy before putting them down for naps, though. At 3-1/2, Otto could definitely have a twin bed, but it would probably need a safety rail too, and the main reason we haven’t done it is his room is very small. It all fits in there really nicely with the crib, rocker, and dresser, and because of the big windows and closet wall, that’s about all you could fit. If we put a twin in there we would have to get rid of the rocker, and we still use that a lot with Lucy when we’re all in there together. Also, Otto likes to carry his blankets around so he prefers the toddler sized ones to the twin comforter I got for him before I made over those twin size comforters and covers. We will get there someday but for now he is very happy in this little bed! Also for a long time until recently he used to sleep perpendicular curled up in the corner anyway!

Just finished Otto's room, see it all in this post!

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

2.09.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Daycare vs. nanny

This post is part of my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive, and I'm just sharing my experience, no judgment, of what we did (or didn't do). (See the whole list below.) There are pros and cons to both daycare and in-house nanny/babysitter/family care, and I'm sharing what we've done and what has worked for us!

Daycare vs. nanny

Combination of factors, pandemic included, we have never enroll the kids in a daycare. We almost did for Otto, and then the one I was planning on using closed. Ha! But we only wanted to put him in a couple days a week anyway and it was hard to find something like that. We are really lucky/chose to live near family so when Otto was little we had my parents, Jason's mom, and Jason's brother watched him on short shifts while I was at work and Jason was at school, although Jason was more available in the mornings and evenings.

Obviously it’s more complicated with two kids and busier work schedules, so now we have a "nanny": we pay Jason's brother to watch the kids most of the time, in our house. PROS: It’s pretty awesome because we love him, he loves them, so lucky to have him around and available, but also, he does our dishes, can transfer laundry or whatever, and we never have to pack lunches or worry about packing clothes for the kids for daycare. Also I am definitely a homebody and love that they can just be in the comfort of our home all day. And, since I’ve been working from home the past almost 2 years, we haven’t needed childcare when they’re both napping! That can be a bit stressful like when Otto had a phase where he would wake up screaming (seriously, age 3-1/4 or so), but we adjusted nap schedules and it’s been good. When Lucy is napping in the mornings, two days a week my parents take Otto so that’s another two hours days a week that we don’t need any childcare.

Having the kids around while I work from home has its own complications... CONS: sometimes I get distracted hearing them, and I have to stay out of the kitchen when they’re around or Lucy will get fussy and want to see me.

More PROS: I’m still breast-feeding Lucy a lot but I never have to pump. Pumping is the worst. I did it with Otto while working but it was always stressful and taking time out of my day and there’s just nothing at all enjoyable about it. (Shared some tips on pumping/working here.) Instead, with Lucy, I still have some childcare time blocked off for my breaks when I feed Lucy, and then I can just bring her back to the nanny when I’m done. She’s super fast so it’s usually only five or 10 minutes and I can refill my water or whatever with those breaks anyway, but I can keep working while feeding her. It’s really amazing. I just get to snuggle my baby taking a tiny break from work for a few minutes, and then don’t have to worry about the responsibilities of having her around for the rest of the day! That is sugarcoating it a bit, and I have definitely had times when calls ran long and I had to be feeding her with my camera off and microphone muted and it was stressful… But everything is usually pretty flexible on the kid front.

All this is to say I’m really happy that we are able to have in-home childcare, from someone we really love and trust of course, although I would also probably choose this route with a nanny if we didn’t have family available.

Some CONS of daycare, as I understand: I know people have great experiences at daycare, but some challenges that have scared me away from it a bit are that you don’t have as much control over their nap schedule--this was a big issue when we looked into putting Otto into it because he still took two naps one other kids his age were down to one, same story with Lucy (a lot of the places don’t really give you the option of two naps unless they have a lot of younger kids), you can’t really control the food very easily, you have to take them there, and they’re not really flexible with the early drop-offs and late pick-ups as you might need them to be. I used to leave it like 6 AM for work and it would be really hard to drop a kid off that early. Whereas with in-home, if Jason was still home sleeping, then getting up/getting Otto up then we wouldn’t need a nanny until he left. Oh, also, they get sick all the time at daycare, I hear. And with COVID if they have any symptoms then they shut the whole place down for two weeks! and you might be without childcare without a backup plan sometimes. We will probably put Otto in pre-school three mornings/week in the fall, hoping things are a little calmer and safer then and kids can be vaccinated.

But again I know a lot of people love it and it works for a lot of people, this is just our experience!

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

2.07.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Potty training

I mentioned this post was coming in my post about cloth diapering... had to make it into two posts! This is part of my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive. I'm sharing my experience, no judgment, of what we did (or didn't do), and this topic was super anxiety-provoking for me with Otto so I'm happy to be on the other side and share what worked well for us (and what we'll be doing with Lucy!).

(See the whole list of controversial parenting posts below.)

Potty training

Potty training deserves to be its own post in this series, though the controversial part is not whether to do it or not! I have heard some strong opinions from moms on which age to do it at, though. I was so nervous to do it with Otto but then when Lucy was born (he was 2 years and 4 months) his diapers just seemed so large and ridiculous in comparison... Jason and I both read this this book, Oh Crap! Potty Training to prepare and followed everything she recommend, and it went great!!! (We did daytime potty training only; couldn't handle waking up in the middle of the night to take Otto to the potty when we were already doing that with a newborn.) The experts (per that book, anyway) recommend potty training for ages 18-30 months. Otto was 29 months. Worked great, and we realized we could have done it earlier!

I figured at the time we could/should have done it around age 2, when he was talking enough he could communicate about it, and would have been nice to do it before I had a newborn to be carrying, watching, putting down for nap, and/or breastfeeding while rushing to the potty with Otto. Ha! But for Lucy... she's not talking much yet but she's already showing signs of being ready to potty train (17 months). I think we'll wait till it's a little warmer so she can go pants-less for a while; that was really helpful for Otto for several weeks even after the 3-day initiation/naked day.

The good thing is, potty training is way less scary than I pictured.

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

2.04.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Cloth diapering

Welcome to another post in my series about parenting decisions that people fall on either side of. I imagine most people are not on the cloth diapering side anymore, but we've had a lot of experience with it now and I'm happy to share for those who are interested. Also, it leads into potty training... another super interesting topic I was intimidated by pre-parenting!

(See the whole list of topics in this series below.)

Cloth diapering

I had always been intrigued by this idea because I like saving money and protecting the environment, but then when I was 25 or so I had a coworker who got pregnant with her second baby and mentioned that she was cloth diapering. She was not the kind of person I would expect to do it, so I asked her some more… I’ll never forget what she said: "Oh, it's so easy." She dismissed it like it was no big deal at all. Again this is not the kind of person who I would think would spend a lot of energy dealing with something that was stressful or hard just to save a few dollars and keep stuff out of the landfill. I figured, if she thinks it’s easy, it really must be!

I’m not sure "easy" is the first word I would use to describe my cloth diapering experience, because I do do laundry basically constantly (although maybe that’s just because I don’t have enough cloth diapers), but it has been a good experience. My favorite brand are G Diapers (no longer made any more with the same availability since COVID, but you can buy them on Facebook/eBay etc.) and I’ve used them with both kids, although not the whole time with Otto (I forget why).

From Lucy's nursery

We still use them with Lucy and it’s been great. Save a ton of money, no guilt about the environment. Yes, it’s pretty gross dumping her poop into the toilet but I would be smelling it either way, cloth diaper or disposable, just part of parenting. (Also, I learned reading the potty training book--did you know you're supposed to dump and flush the solids even if you use disposables? No one does this, I'm sure. It also says that on the disposable diaper box. I mean, maybe daycares, who change diapers in the bathroom. But I bet almost 0% of parents do that at home. Throwing it all away at once seems like part of the benefit of using a disposable, right?)

We still use disposables at night for her (well, Otto too) because they hold all that pee better, or if we're out and about. But that means we use I disposable diaper/day on days when all the laundry is done and we aren't leaving the house for anything (most days). We have 10 cloth diapers in Medium and Large, and I 6-8 in Small, and I'm not sure what we'll do when she outgrows Large but each size fits for a loooong, long time, like 10 pounds of growth or something. And honestly, we didn't potty train Otto till he was almost 2.5 but now that we know how to do it, and knowing Lucy, I think we'll potty train her earlier so I'm not sure she'll ever need X-Large cloth diapers. Note: 10 cloth diapers is not enough in each size. I seriously do laundry every other day. I really should buy more, but... I dunno, I'm used to it.

That leads into the next post I'll share Monday... potty training/how and when to do it.

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

1.31.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Baby-led weaning

This post is part of my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive. I'm sharing my experience of what we did (or didn't do) and how I feel about it. (See the whole list below.) This topic in particular was difficult for Jason and me for both babies and I think is different than the very pro-/educational or very con/conservative posts I've read elsewhere about baby-led weaning and feeding. I hope it's interesting and helpful!

Baby-led weaning

I guess there are two ends of the spectrum here: traditional soft baby food/purées or baby-led weaning. I think we fall somewhere in the middle. We really love the concept of baby-led weaning and I know some kids do amazing with it, but we also have pretty intense bite size anxiety around here and I’ve always cut the kids' food up really really small.

So, we like to give them solid foods and hardly purchase any purées (other than for a few weeks/months when we had just started giving them food, around 6 months)... but even now we cut everything up pretty small for Lucy and cut up meat etc. for Otto. We did these mesh baby feeder things too, very handy, kids loved them. Hard to clean. DON'T put banana in those, whatever you do! (Seeds.)

I would love to learn more about how people do baby-led weaning with big pieces, but there’s not a lot of information out there from reputable sources because they are all going to be really safety-conscious and conservative. I think I could learn more from blogs/videos of moms doing it with their kids. Something to look into if we do this again. Here is one helpful experience post I've read.

We're happy with the IKEA high chair for babies. For toddlers, we love this booster seat. Easy to clean, not obnoxious-looking.

We were also slow to start them eating solid foods... they say you can start around 4 months but I wanted to wait till they "showed signs" of being ready, like being able to sit on their own and reaching for/showing an interest in food. We didn't start solids till 6 months but honestly those couple months were difficult with fussiness, sleep, weight gain etc. so I think I should have started earlier.

We also avoided grains for both kids for a long time, following some of the traditional ancestral health stuff of doing more meats and fruits and veggies, easier to digest before their guts have started producing all the enzymes needed for digesting more complex things like grains. We did start giving Otto Cheerios before age 1 and he loved them, and they're a great distraction/thing to give them in the high chair while you eat or cook or whatever! Lucy doesn't really care about them that much. She prefers granola. :P Gets herself a bowl and gets the bag out for me and everything, ha.

This was another short one! More coming later this week!

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

1.28.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Babywearing

This post in part of my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive, or in this case, just something some parents do a ton and some don't at all! Sharing what worked for us in case it is helpful for others! (See the whole list below.)

Babywearing

I guess this one isn’t really that controversial, but it’s definitely something that some people swear by, others don't find that helpful. I discovered when Otto was a week old that when he was ready for a nap and I wore him in the wrap, he would fall asleep immediately or quickly, and in fact, could bring on a nap almost 100% of the time. Because I just wasn’t confident with the "drowsy but awake" thing with him, I wore him to start a lot of his naps.

With Lucy I was sort of forced to figure out getting her to put herself to sleep because I was also dealing with a toddler, so didn't start her naps in the wrap quite as much. But during the 4-month sleep regression we learned that we could extend her 30-minute naps by wearing her in the wrap if we couldn’t get her back to sleep by patting and shhhhhing... so we did that a lot at that age!

I wish I had more photos of myself with this thing on cause... I spent a lot of time like this with both kids!

So I have done a lot, a lot, lot of babywearing, mostly in the soft wrap (my favorite is basically this one, I think it’s a knockoff of the Solly wrap). I would almost always wear the baby still swaddled, too. Obviously this was better in the cooler months. But it kept them sleepy and cozy and with the 5 S's principles for helping babies sleep.

This is from a party we went to when Otto was about 3 months old. We arrived, I fed him, I wore him for a nap and we hung out for a couple hours, then he woke up and partied! This technique also worked great during our housewarming party, when we were giving tours of his room during naptime!

I also wore Lucy a ton in a structured carrier, though she never or almost never slept in it. In fact she loved this thing so much starting around 6 or 8 months she would start clapping and bouncing up and down when she saw it! She still really loves going for walks so she knows when we go to the front coat closet and start to get things out that she'll get excited and hope we're going outside. It’s pretty funny, when we say "carrier!" or show it to her her eyes light up.

When she was little I could wear her front-facing, but now that she’s bigger I face her toward me and we snuggle and take walks. (Although I think we're about toward the end of that, since she likes to walk herself now!) This thing is also really great not for going outside but just for getting stuff done around the house. When you have a fussy baby who is old enough to crawl or get into things and who doesn’t want to be left alone, but you just have to go upstairs and get something or start some laundry or whatever… This thing is a lifesaver! This one was my favorite.

Honestly, though, when I think about babywearing, I think of it as a lifesaver for baby sleep when nothing else is working or you can't do all the baby sleep solutions every nap. I used it a little too heavily with Otto (I had bad back pain postpartum and it didn't help, and didn't teach him to sleep by himself as soon as we could have), used it during that really tough sleep regression with Lucy, and generally have good memories of snuggling and managing things with it. Do check out this post and resources I link there if you want to actually solve baby sleep problems, though... but in a pinch, I highly recommend swaddling the baby and wearing!

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

1.24.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Co-sleeping

This is the third post in my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive, and I'm sharing my experience, no judgment, of what we did (or didn't do). Alternate title: controversial mom things I did and didn’t do, and how I feel about them. (See the whole list below.)

Note: I've seen "co-sleeping" to mean bed sharing and/or room sharing, but most commonly, bed sharing. That's how I mean it here. We did have each baby in our room for the first 3-4 months or so.

Co-sleeping

This is a hot one and there’s a good amount of research on how to do it safely and I know a lot of cultures do it… But I just never felt comfortable. I am a nervous person sometimes. It would’ve saved a lot of time particularly with Otto, and there were one, maybe two times when he was a newborn when I fell asleep feeding him in the side-lying position or just left him on the bed after he fell asleep nursing in the middle of the night, but then I just felt really nervous about it.

I know it can be done safely, I just… I think with Lucy in particular I just felt so much more peaceful when I knew she was sleeping soundly in her bassinet and I had the whole bed to myself and wouldn’t disturb her. Just a mental thing for me really.

With Otto I looked into the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper thing that attaches to the bed, thinking that way he could be in his own space but I wouldn't have to get all the way up to get him. Ended up going with a flat rocking swing bassinet instead.

Our room until we moved everyone upstairs. You can read more about that bassinet/swing here--I have done a lot of research!

As the kids have gotten older, and when Otto had a phase around age 3 after we took the rail off his crib and he would sometimes come in our room, we have also had a no sleeping in our bed policy. I know some kids and some parents have a hard time with that and I’ve just been really anxious/afraid of having sleep continue to be interrupted even after they sleep trained, so we have just never done it. Otto sometime snuggles Jason in the morning weekend mornings as we’re getting up, but when he’s had difficult times and waking up in the middle of the night we can always tuck him back in or send him back to his room. It works for us.

That was a short one! More coming later this week and you can check out all the posts in this series here.

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

1.20.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Sleep training

Welcome to post #2 in my series, of controversial mom things I did and didn’t do, and how I feel about them. (See the whole list below.) When I was in the trenches with a newborn waking up every 3 hours, and then a 4-6 month-old taking 30-minute naps, I read every single thing I could online and didn't think sleep training or teaching of some kind was that much of a choice. But since, I've seen some moms sharing they didn't do any sleep training, and figured maybe this topic was more divisive than I remembered (?) and maybe my perspective was worth sharing.

Sleep training

I had a really hard time with newborn sleep with both kids, but particularly with Otto because it was such a surprise. I imagine most people have a hard time with this, except for occasionally people get really great babies! But mine were pretty normal, waking up every 2 to 3 hours for the first many many weeks. I spent lots of time googling how to get them to sleep better and almost everything I read suggested a few key things in the first 4 months or so, and then sleep training.

So I did everything I was supposed to do: put them down drowsy but awake, don’t feed them to sleep, swaddle, shush noises, rocking, etc. Actually I did this a lot better with Lucy because with Otto I was hopeless that he would ever be able to fall asleep by himself… With Lucy I didn’t have as much of a choice because I had another kid to watch. I wrote a blog post here about how I did it so much better the second time around. But anyway, those are the newborn days…

Then comes the 4-month sleep regression when things get really hard, and then around 6 months the experts say you can sleep train. This doesn’t always mean the Cry It Out method, but I’m pretty sure always involves some crying. We did a modified Ferber method, from the Taking Cara Babies course. It really worked. With Otto we sleep trained around 6 months but then I was still feeding him once around 4 AM until he was 10 or 11 months, I don’t remember why. It was not necessary! With Lucy we also cut the feeds except maybe a dream feed at 6 months, and I have been sleeping through the night since then. (!!! Hallelujah.)

All of that is backstory… Sleep training is controversial because some people have said that letting your baby cry can cause attachment issues later on or damage them… The research has not proven this, in fact it shows that sleep training decreases maternal/parental stress, and the babies really do sleep better. I was a mess when the kids were waking up every 2 to 3 hours. Jason was too. Our marriage was struggling, my ability to take care of toddler Otto was reduced, I couldn’t do anything, I felt stressed and anxious… We got a lot better through the techniques I shared here, but when we were able to sleep train and sleep through the night it was really a game changer. (See all my posts related to baby sleep here.)

It really changed the way I felt about parenting, made me way less resentful. And therefore a better mom and more in love with my baby! Just my personal experience here, but I absolutely do not feel bad about teaching my kids to fall asleep by themselves early on.

Two rounds of the ABC's and put her down for nap or bed. Been doing it that way since she was tiny!

The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!

1.17.2022

Controversial parenting topics: Breastfeeding

I have three friends who are pregnant right now and who I’ve talked to about my experience, common concerns, etc. I love when they ask me for opinions or help! But I often have a tricky time in the situation because I love love love to be helpful and share any wisdom I have, but I have been told occasionally throughout my life that I can come on too strong, and I definitely don’t want to offend or alienate or give unsolicited advice. Motherhood is particularly tricky for this kind of thing because there’s a lot of judgment out there at moms and I never want to sound like I am judging my friends if I ask them questions about what they’re planning on doing. But like I said I do think I have some helpful perspectives, so I figured I would just share them with the whole world instead! ;)

I started writing down some thoughts about a few controversial/divisive topics in parenting/motherhood but the post got way too long fast. So I'm breaking it up into a series, about all of these:

Controversial mom things I did and didn't do, and how I feel about them

So here's my first in this series of posts about my thoughts and experiences on these 10 common often controversial decisions we make as moms/parents.

Breastfeeding

Background/intro/disclaimer... It was a personal goal/expectation of mine to breastfeed my kids long before I got pregnant. I think this goes way back, because my mom breastfed me till I was 2.5 and was very proud of that and had a very positive experience. I didn’t really understand pros and cons (and I guess I still don’t fully, scientifically), but when I got into the Paleo/real food/nutritional therapy/health community after I stop being vegan in 2012/2013, I was exposed to a lot of moms sharing how they had made ancestral-based choices for pregnancy and birth and had been healthy and successful. So I definitely valued it and wanted to give my babies all natural breastmilk, and eat a good diet to support that.

But see even as I say this now I’m trying to be neutral! I do not judge other moms who can’t or don’t want to breastfeed, but I guess what I’m trying to say here is that breastfeeding was really important to me. I really wanted to do it, and I, too have found a lot of joy in it. There have been really hard times… my supply was not great with Otto so I got stuck pumping a lot and was anxious about how much we were giving him from the pump supply versus how much I made that day at work. I tracked every feeding in an app for something like 9 months with him! I breastfed him till he was 19 months, when I got pregnant with Lucy and knew I would be too tired and sick to have one more responsibility (although by the end I’m sure he was hardly getting any milk at all and it was just a comfort thing we did before bedtime). He also never asked for milk!

Happened to catch a glamorous shot of me feeding Otto once

9.15.2021

My #1 tip for making hard parenting days easier

I’ve been balancing gratitude and just exhaustion lately. Our kids are so wonderful but take so much out of me these days. Wanted to share something that has been hugely helpful for me in the past year having Lucy, and since Jason started working (first part of this year). I work from home, he works late, blah blah blah… I don’t feel like I have a lot of time to myself and most of my time is while I’m supposed to be watching the kids, or on the weekends when we’re supposed to be enjoying family time. I’ve been doing this one tip I got from a friend a long time ago and I've realized what a game changer it is!

Me with the kids on my birthday

The #1 tip for making days of watching kids easier

This one of my friends has several little ones and her husband travels a lot for work. One of her tips for handling those times when he was gone was, get up before your kids. Yes. An alarm. Early. When you’re low on sleep this is the last thing you want to do, and most kids get up pretty early themselves, but if you can manage it, it makes such a difference. I get up at 6:30 every day have time to myself to just get dressed, feed the cat, eat a little breakfast, check my email… alone. All by myself. It is sometimes the only time in the day (except right before bed when I should be getting off my phone and going to sleep!) that I have to do that. I get Lucy up at 7:00 so it’s not a lot of time, but it sets up my whole day not feeling frazzled and spread too thin.

Now, Jason does not do this. He waits until the last minute when Otto comes to get him or when he has to get up for work, and he never has that quiet time to himself to drink his coffee before he starts a day of parenting and working! It’s really hard for him. Sometimes you feel like that extra 30 minutes of sleep is more important… But as long as you’re not majorly/chronically sleep deprived, for me anyway, 30 minutes of alone time really feels like something. 30 minutes less sleep in the morning? It sucks, but sometimes that sleep isn’t that great anyway (when I can hear kids stirring or the cat meowing or whatever). I do want more sleep, but I know I just need to go to bed earlier!

So anyway. If you are struggling with feeling like you don’t have any time to yourself… It’s worth trying!

Art update from this post

8.26.2021

Which is harder: going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2 kids?

Since I’ve been a mom of two for more than a year now, I thought I should out down some thoughts about the popular question: is it harder to go from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2 kids?

8.16.2021

Lucy's first birthday party

Lucy is one! We had a fun birthday celebration for Lucy this past weekend!

I keep things really simple for kids birthdays but it feels like I've just got to do a little bit more than just a cake and some colorful gift bags for the big first birthday. For Otto's birthday I did another simple but very cute party, and for Lucy we celebrated in the same dining room and living room, with some different colors and a bit of slightly girly decor. I’m not planning on winning any party planning awards with this one, but it was cute and I’d love to share how you can get a very pretty, festive look with just a few simple things!

Simple, pretty first birthday party for baby girl

8.09.2021

10th wedding anniversary trip!

On Friday we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Wow, right! I've been blogging for almost 12 years and our wedding was a huge project so I documented it all way back then (see all posts about it here), and I don't post about every anniversary but thought 10 years deserved a post. Plus, we did something really special!

For a long time I thought we'd do something big, like a week in Hawaii or new engagement ring set, but we haven't had the capacity to do any extra things very well lately (see also: vegetable garden needing to be harvested, not vacuuming frequently enough, etc.) and it crept up on us. Plus with two little kids and Jason only 6 months into working for real, now is not a great time for a trip (COVID, too). But I thought it would be really special and sentimental to go back to our wedding venue and maybe even stay there overnight, without the kids.

I haven't spent a night away from at least one kid since April 2018 when Otto was born! It is a big deal to be able to go to sleep without wondering if you'll be woken up in the middle of the night or early morning. Plus, just all those hours of independence... wow!

We headed out after the kids' naps Friday and walked around Edgefield, had dinner, went to the soaking pools, had a big breakfast, sat on the porch, took a few pumping breaks of course (they brought us the tiniest minifridge for the room), and visited some memorable spots from our wedding photos. So I'll mix in a few of those with the current ones (you'll be able to tell the difference!). Wedding photos are by Studio 623 Photography.

7.30.2021

Our fave toys & books for 2-3 year-olds

I've been a parent for more than 3 years now and I'm finally realizing hey, maybe I know what I'm doing with a few things. Oh hey, I have a good handle on toddler toys!, and wanted to share some of our faves!

With the Geomag Magicube blocks

We keep it pretty simple around here and I'm slow to try things that he might be ready for (and we now have an almost one-year-old around so toys have to be safe for her, too)... so I'm calling this great toys for 2- to 3-year-olds. (I also wrote about our fave toys for 1-year-olds a couple years ago.)

1 and 2. They make these 5-Minute Stories books for a lot of characters, but I started with the Winnie the Pooh ones since Otto loves the short Pooh books we have. At this age they go through stories fast and the baby books are just too simple! These stories are great--more text on the page, beginning/middle/end with moral, bigger variety of words. Of course we also have the Daniel Tiger one, and the Daniel Tiger sequel.

3. We got Otto this Kinetic Sand kit for his third birthday. Big hit. It's kind of like Play-Doh, something you can set him up with at the table and let him play with by himself for a while.

4. Magnets! We have a couple of different magnet sets and they're actually fun for much younger kids, too, which is great for us now because Lucy is always around the toys, too. We only keep baby-safe toys at reachable level and magnetic blocks like these Geomag Magicube blocks are great. These are cool cause they're made from 100% recycled plastic, too. (I received these as a sample, though this post is not sponsored.) For older kids, Geomag has this Supercolor Magnetic Sticks and Balls building set that looks really fun too!

5. Puzzles! Otto loves puzzles and we have this cute wooden set of 4 that's a couple steps up from the great wooden block puzzles for younger toddlers. He can do these by himself slowly, or with help.

6. Another unique puzzle: this alphabet giraffe is actually pretty hard! Otto loves it. Goes better with adult help.

7. These "Peek inside the..." books are so cute! Obviously we have a ton of books but this Peek Inside the Garden is one of Otto's favorites and we enjoy reading it, too. Fun to read and lots of flaps to lift, and the garden theme is easy to relate to our garden in our yard which Otto knows about.

8. Don't Break the Ice! was also a third birthday present and it's funny how much Otto loves it! You set up the board with the white plastic blocks and are supposed to take turns hammering, but Otto plays it by himself and just taps and hammers until the blocks all fall. Bonus: Lucy cracks up when the ice breaks!

9 and 10. We love Daniel Tiger over here. It's the only TV Otto watches and the lessons in it are actually helpful for parenting lessons. He doesn't watch very often, but we have this trolley and Daniel Tiger character set in the living room and read the books and talk about Daniel plenty. The trolley and characters were Otto's big brother gift when Lucy was born (when he was 2 years 4 months) and he still loves them a year later. The trolley moves, talks, dings, etc. and entertains Lucy, too.

Otto still loves the basics too, like the Duplos and Play-Doh and coloring, but it's always nice when one of the different things we get for him is a hit.

6.07.2021

Tips for traveling for the weekend with a baby or toddler

I had the idea for this post more than a year ago when, first weekend in March 2020, we took a little weekend trip to a beach rental with some of Jason‘s friends. We brought Otto along and used a few practices I’ve been using on other trips, and I wanted to share my tips with you guys! But then a week later, everything shut down for COVID and nobody was traveling so I didn’t think it would be that helpful! Well, now it’s even more complicated because we have a 9-month-old as well! We recently did our first trip with both of them and it went well! Sharing a few tips for making traveling was little kids much easier!

5.31.2021

Kid wall bookshelf storage solution (and what not to do!)

Otto‘s room is almost done! The shelves were one of the last things. His room doesn’t have a lot of wall space and I was struggling to store books, even a few of them. (We keep most of them in the living room.) For a while we just kept a basket of books next to the rocking chair, but it was always overflowing. There’s just this little wall space above the heater vent so it was tricky to find a shelf for there. I’m sure a lot of other kids rooms are lacking in wall/storage space, so this bookshelf method is really helpful for a lot of people!

5.24.2021

6 tips for solo parenting in the evenings

With our current work schedules, I do dinner and bedtime for the kids 5 nights a week. As any parents of young kids out there know… 5 PM till bedtime is like the hardest time of the day. So many things to do and manage with little, not-very-independent kids. It is exhausting. It’s been a few months of this now and I’ve come up with some creative tips and hacks for making it easier!

I realized that none of these involve screen time or having someone else watch the kids--also great options, but these are a little outside the box!

6 ways to make solo parenting easier in the evenings

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