Controversial parenting topics: Daycare vs. nanny
This post is part of my series about parenting decisions that can be controversial or divisive, and I'm just sharing my experience, no judgment, of what we did (or didn't do). (See the whole list below.) There are pros and cons to both daycare and in-house nanny/babysitter/family care, and I'm sharing what we've done and what has worked for us!
- Breastfeeding
- Sleep training
- Co-sleeping
- Babywearing
- Baby-led weaning
- Cloth diapering
- Potty training
- Daycare vs. nanny
- Transitioning from the crib
- TV time
Daycare vs. nanny
Combination of factors, pandemic included, we have never enroll the kids in a daycare. We almost did for Otto, and then the one I was planning on using closed. Ha! But we only wanted to put him in a couple days a week anyway and it was hard to find something like that. We are really lucky/chose to live near family so when Otto was little we had my parents, Jason's mom, and Jason's brother watched him on short shifts while I was at work and Jason was at school, although Jason was more available in the mornings and evenings.
Obviously it’s more complicated with two kids and busier work schedules, so now we have a "nanny": we pay Jason's brother to watch the kids most of the time, in our house. PROS: It’s pretty awesome because we love him, he loves them, so lucky to have him around and available, but also, he does our dishes, can transfer laundry or whatever, and we never have to pack lunches or worry about packing clothes for the kids for daycare. Also I am definitely a homebody and love that they can just be in the comfort of our home all day. And, since I’ve been working from home the past almost 2 years, we haven’t needed childcare when they’re both napping! That can be a bit stressful like when Otto had a phase where he would wake up screaming (seriously, age 3-1/4 or so), but we adjusted nap schedules and it’s been good. When Lucy is napping in the mornings, two days a week my parents take Otto so that’s another two hours days a week that we don’t need any childcare.
Having the kids around while I work from home has its own complications... CONS: sometimes I get distracted hearing them, and I have to stay out of the kitchen when they’re around or Lucy will get fussy and want to see me.
More PROS: I’m still breast-feeding Lucy a lot but I never have to pump. Pumping is the worst. I did it with Otto while working but it was always stressful and taking time out of my day and there’s just nothing at all enjoyable about it. (Shared some tips on pumping/working here.) Instead, with Lucy, I still have some childcare time blocked off for my breaks when I feed Lucy, and then I can just bring her back to the nanny when I’m done. She’s super fast so it’s usually only five or 10 minutes and I can refill my water or whatever with those breaks anyway, but I can keep working while feeding her. It’s really amazing. I just get to snuggle my baby taking a tiny break from work for a few minutes, and then don’t have to worry about the responsibilities of having her around for the rest of the day! That is sugarcoating it a bit, and I have definitely had times when calls ran long and I had to be feeding her with my camera off and microphone muted and it was stressful… But everything is usually pretty flexible on the kid front.
All this is to say I’m really happy that we are able to have in-home childcare, from someone we really love and trust of course, although I would also probably choose this route with a nanny if we didn’t have family available.
Some CONS of daycare, as I understand: I know people have great experiences at daycare, but some challenges that have scared me away from it a bit are that you don’t have as much control over their nap schedule--this was a big issue when we looked into putting Otto into it because he still took two naps one other kids his age were down to one, same story with Lucy (a lot of the places don’t really give you the option of two naps unless they have a lot of younger kids), you can’t really control the food very easily, you have to take them there, and they’re not really flexible with the early drop-offs and late pick-ups as you might need them to be. I used to leave it like 6 AM for work and it would be really hard to drop a kid off that early. Whereas with in-home, if Jason was still home sleeping, then getting up/getting Otto up then we wouldn’t need a nanny until he left. Oh, also, they get sick all the time at daycare, I hear. And with COVID if they have any symptoms then they shut the whole place down for two weeks! and you might be without childcare without a backup plan sometimes. We will probably put Otto in pre-school three mornings/week in the fall, hoping things are a little calmer and safer then and kids can be vaccinated.
But again I know a lot of people love it and it works for a lot of people, this is just our experience!
The posts in this series are meant to be me sharing my personal experience only. 100% no judgment if you did things differently! If you don't like the sound of what I did, no worries! I'm just sharing for those of you out there who are interested. Best wishes to you no matter what you choose!
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